Sunday, 6 July 2008

Yummy Mummies

Do you know one? Are YOU one?

I most certainly am not. But today I bumped into one I know. I literally curled up into a little ball of envious, pathetic, gibbering scruffiness.

I used to work with her. She now has 2 children - both conceived exactly as planned - #2 in a 1-week window when her blokie had a week back from Iraq. She planned his leave around her ovulation. Naturally they hit the jackpot. But that isn't why I feel such a frumpy, messy, uncontrolled freak around her.

Let's start with how she looks: Tall, naturally very blonde, willowy. She is upper class, and sounds like that, and along with the good breeding she has those perfect social skills that make you feel how thrilled she is to see you, and before you know it you're babbling about the ridiculous bitty-shitty small stuff that SHE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW! She was wearing some effortless looking ensemble which looked immaculate, her skin was clear, dewy and radiant.

Then there's the 2 kids. #2 a beautiful redhead, perched clamly and quietly on her hip, no fussing, no dribble, no mouth/hair/eyebrows covered in ketchup (the meet was in McDonalds). Her eldest stood next to her, waiting patiently, not saying a word and not running around like a demented rabbit.

Now let's move our viewpoint: Me, hair like a greying, head-scratching 8-year old boy's. Skin...well, probably hideous. I am incubating a non-period zit, and after 2 wake ups last night and then not being able to get back to sleep because I had some very important worrying to do...
Clothing - blue tracksuit. Amazingly, non-dribbled on (at that point) My girls - running around a mirrored pillar taking it in turns to squeal. Both of them with hair everywhere, and Alice with her skirt halfway around her knees because she insisted on wearing one that's too big. Florence's trousers were ducky pink with orange stains - she had an orange on the wayto the shops in the car.


I make no secret of the fact that I have always wanted to be one of these 'together' women. When I worked with this girl she was also a complete achiever - but never at the cost of alienating anyone. So very good at her job, so organised, so full of bright, workable ideas. I want to puke. I have never been someone who has that 'groomed, finished look' even in the days before 2 kids slimmed my me-time down so much (whilst having the opposite effect on my figure). Now my girls are going the same way. If I put their hair up in pretty things it is either ripped straight out, or the journey there, and car-dancing proves too much for the 'do' and they look like old barbies before we get there. I am thinking dresses. Well, more than thinking actually. I bought them 4 each this weekend. Which is very naughty as we're supposedly going careful in preparation for our holiday.

But they'll look more 'together' in a dress, right? As for me....the only time I can get to the shops is with them, and I don't get more than 2 minutes looking at me-stuff before the craziness commences.


KeepinUnity said...

Bunny!,shes probably got a nanny/grandparents that babysit! if she aint got a nanny she probably got OCD to an extreme!!lol and shes just a better actress than most anddddd she still goes to the shitter n farts and her kids .....they probably hav a play corner!!!/space of there own and its highly lighty they do not own 1noisey toy!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh hun, you have to know - women like this (I have some how been labeled as a "together" woman) are not perfect. At home there are Cheerio mounds under sofa, piles of dirty clothes on the floor, and screaming children. I strap my kids in their high chairs and put some bananas in front of them, turn Go Diego Go! on and take my shower, do my hair and make-up. Sometimes it takes an hour - so what your "Yummy Mummy" friend isn't telling you is although she may "LOOK" together she probably doesn't feel like it at all and does the "putting together" dance so no one knows just how inferior she feels as a woman, wife and mother. Just a thought! And if your kids are happy and squealing - YOU ARE DOING A TOP NOTCH JOB AS A MOM IN MY BOOK!

Ronda's Rants said...

I have felt like you did a million times in front of those so "perfect" women, imagine my surprise when someone confessed that they felt that way around me! I couldn't believe it...she thought I had it together. Your children are beautiful!

this one said...

Thanks for your comment about your own PAO ovaries :) Sounds like you never had any complications from it which makes me feel better.

I have to tell you how much I love your daughter's names! Gorgeous taste!

And as for the yummy mummy, who knows how she feels inside. Who knows who might be looking at your and envying something about you. Funny how in the States we call yummy mummies "MILFs"...much nastier expression :)

Nic said...

I must admit, my SIL thinks I am this intimidating career-woman mummy, but she lives miles and miles away,never see her - I think if she did she might revise that!

Anonymous said...

if you figure it out let me know! I bet she thinks the same of you!