Yummy Mummies

Do you know one? Are YOU one?

I most certainly am not. But today I bumped into one I know. I literally curled up into a little ball of envious, pathetic, gibbering scruffiness.

I used to work with her. She now has 2 children - both conceived exactly as planned - #2 in a 1-week window when her blokie had a week back from Iraq. She planned his leave around her ovulation. Naturally they hit the jackpot. But that isn't why I feel such a frumpy, messy, uncontrolled freak around her.

Let's start with how she looks: Tall, naturally very blonde, willowy. She is upper class, and sounds like that, and along with the good breeding she has those perfect social skills that make you feel how thrilled she is to see you, and before you know it you're babbling about the ridiculous bitty-shitty small stuff that SHE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW! She was wearing some effortless looking ensemble which looked immaculate, her skin was clear, dewy and radiant.

Then there's the 2 kids. #2 a beautiful redhead, perched clamly and quietly on her hip, no fussing, no dribble, no mouth/hair/eyebrows covered in ketchup (the meet was in McDonalds). Her eldest stood next to her, waiting patiently, not saying a word and not running around like a demented rabbit.

Now let's move our viewpoint: Me, hair like a greying, head-scratching 8-year old boy's. Skin...well, probably hideous. I am incubating a non-period zit, and after 2 wake ups last night and then not being able to get back to sleep because I had some very important worrying to do...
Clothing - blue tracksuit. Amazingly, non-dribbled on (at that point) My girls - running around a mirrored pillar taking it in turns to squeal. Both of them with hair everywhere, and Alice with her skirt halfway around her knees because she insisted on wearing one that's too big. Florence's trousers were ducky pink with orange stains - she had an orange on the wayto the shops in the car.

HOW DOES SHE DO IT. ALL OF IT.

I make no secret of the fact that I have always wanted to be one of these 'together' women. When I worked with this girl she was also a complete achiever - but never at the cost of alienating anyone. So very good at her job, so organised, so full of bright, workable ideas. I want to puke. I have never been someone who has that 'groomed, finished look' even in the days before 2 kids slimmed my me-time down so much (whilst having the opposite effect on my figure). Now my girls are going the same way. If I put their hair up in pretty things it is either ripped straight out, or the journey there, and car-dancing proves too much for the 'do' and they look like old barbies before we get there. I am thinking dresses. Well, more than thinking actually. I bought them 4 each this weekend. Which is very naughty as we're supposedly going careful in preparation for our holiday.

But they'll look more 'together' in a dress, right? As for me....the only time I can get to the shops is with them, and I don't get more than 2 minutes looking at me-stuff before the craziness commences.