Friday, 11 July 2008

Dear Mr Microsoft Brain

I have been using this product for some time now and I notice there seem to be a few bugs that aren't ironed out yet:

1. The switch that is meant to turn it off at night-time sometimes seems to get stuck to the 'on' position, thereby causing me to be awake for extended periods.

2. Along with the above problem, the 'sifting-through-worries' application seems to not only get stuck on, but also runs way too fast sometimes. It also seems to categorise things that don't really fall into the 'worry' bracket as worries, thereby making the whole process an almost constant one.

3. I don't think this model was equipped with the correct amount of memory. A vast number of things seem to disappear off the system, only to reappear, which the system then moves into the 'worry' category.

4. The system seems to have a lot of trouble warming up when it is first booted up in the morning. It often seems to have trouble even functioning to make a cup of coffee.

5. The Rumpy-Pumpy program appears to be not functioning whatsoever. It may well have burnt out as it worked exceptionally well a few years ago.

6. Every so often the Logic-Runtime-system seems to malfunction, causing misinterpretation of a variety of everyday occurrances and complete lack of functionality. This sometimes trips the emotion javascript resulting in unpredicable floods of tears or gales of laughter.

Would it be possible to send this model back to you and have it analysed for defects. I would be happy to accept a stand-in model in the meantime. If you don't accommodate my needs, and address my issues seriously I will be forced to take legal action.

If I remember.

4 comments:

Michelle said...

Funny post.
Thank you for linking to Mommy Confessions. Of course it is okay!

Ronda's Rants said...

Lucky you...my model has recently while under duress instead of a flight or fight program will instead eat everything in sight!
I would like a newer more compact model!

Just Me. said...

LOL!

I had to laugh at If I remember!!! :)

Tash said...

Ha ha - a very funny post!!! I too have trouble booting up in the morning!!