Thursday, 21 August 2008

Well, yes

You had the excuses yesterday - now here's Bunny.

Oh, my online friends, it's been a surreal couple of weeks...I have Georgia on my mind.

We're kinda at overload with it - can't truly see what is to stop the russians doing exactly as they want. DH's family are safe so far, anything else is out of our hands. I have been doing a lot of praying and just hope there's a peaceful final resolution to this. I want to have faith, but I have doubts, and hope there's a 'plan'.

What else has kept me from doing what I love?

4 sodding HEEEEYUUUGE essays that I finally scraped up the discipline to sit down and do them the last 3 nights. Self-development - is there a module on making yourself get on with things you know will make you feel crap every night you put it off.

Now, after having a 3-night marathon on them I am so tired my eyes are bleeding, too tired even to feel that little glow you have when you've got the work out of the way.
The horrid thing is, because I didn't get onto these assignments when I should (not slapping myself too hard, am only a week late) I now have to skip right onto the next workbook...and you guessed it - yeah the NEXT essays. Why do I do it to myself?!

Studying has been my life. I literally have never stopped. And now it's out of control. I am pretty much decided ramping down the career is the next plan, to be around for schoolt-times, homework and lively little girls growing up, but still I pile into getting more qualified.

Does it keep my brain alive? Well, yes - to a point. But I seem to be able to only pour in one direction at a time - when my work is up to date, I blog. And love it. When the studying cranks up my creative brain goes blleleeeuuauahhhfhfhhggh and I literally have nothing.

I like having somewhere to be 'myself', to reflect, ramble and rant. I like having so much of me left at the end of the day that I can burn off neurons on here. But I like learning too.

So, I guess, until the learning bug burns out I am stuck with all-nighters on late essays - I may not look like I am still at college, but part of me still acts like it!


The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) said...

Here from ICLW and am enjoying your blog. Your kids are gorgeous!

I can certainly relate to late-night was just so much easier before I had my little one. Somehow it just doesn't seem ok to not feed her because I have an essay to write ;) .

Ronda's Rants said...

Sorry have been so busy but is so nice to hear you're okay! Now go get some sleep!

In Due Time said...

Coming over from ICLW...

Its tough being busy somtimes. Make sure your taking care of yourself!

Kim said...

Fellow procrastinator here, always have been, always will be. Well, except when it is something fun!lol

baby~amore' said...

Here from your blog template
I had a tendency to do that when studying too - all the best -don't burn out.

(adoption,pregnancy loss, IVF twins)
My Little Drummer Boys

Blissfully Teal said...

Here from ICLW as well. Just so thrilled to see someone use the word "whinging"! Honestly! I spend a lot of time in the UK and that's one of my favourite British expressions. Best of luck with the studies, hope you get some sleep so you can enjoy "that glow" of getting some things finished. I'm a yoga teacher, so if you need a study break you can check out my blog for yoga fun!

seriously? said...

Hi, here from ICLW. What a cute family. I really love learning too. After I finished my formal schooling I continued to take classes for fun at the local college. It keeps me alive!

KeepinUnity said...

Im not so good at studyin my attention span doesnt last too long! hope u r resting enuff xoxoxo

Nic said...

So glad it isn't just me not only studying all their life, but crap at discipline to boot!

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