Men...never cease to amaze

I had quite a day of it today.

For 2 days every month I run a training course. Not my favourite part of my job, although once I am in there, and 'on-stage' I get on a roll and get on with it.

Today's class started as usual and I was just setting them up for the icebreaker when one of the students got up and left the room with another student. I didn't think much about it, and my co-trainer colleague went out with them to check what was happening.

About 30 seconds later she reappeared saying 'Nic, he's fitting'. Well, I have been first-aid trained for about 20 years now, refreshed annually, and last year took the step to become a first aid trainer. However, in all this time I have never had to use it 'live'. Thank goodness, it all went ok, the paramedics arrived and the person is being looked after/investigated in hospital.

I felt sick afterwards. Partly to do with just being present in the fast-developing situation, the horror of it (bit silly for a first aider!) and partly I guess from adreneline from just getting on with it. We recommenced training, and the class went on as normal.

About an hour later we got a chance for a break, and I went down to my office to find a note from one of my on-going students who needed me NOW. I called, explained I was in a class but he was adamant he needed 10 minutes...so off I went.

I am on my way to his office, to perform some educational first aid, when DH calls. I try to get him off the phone, and say I will call back.

When I do get a chance to call him I relate how my day has gone so far....He briefly pauses to go 'wow' and the next words are 'what shall I get the girls for dinner?'

Needless to say he has been packed off tonight to pump my tyres, fill up car with petrol and get me something fatty and delicious for dinner.

Men!! HUH!

Sunday sunday

Us girls had a fab fab fab day. DH not so good as the CURSED new car refused to start and he was late for work. Not helped of course, by me going out with the girls and him having to wait for me to get back to use my car....whoops.

Me and the girls went to church this morning. A new experience for all of us - them, well there's so many firsts when you're 2 and 3 aren't there! Me, not because I have never been to church, but never been to a church like this.

I liked it, I really did. I have tons of questions, which I guess is a good thing? Much better than yiiiiiikes, what's going oooooooon???!!! People there seemed generally very friendly (although creche lady who called the girls 'back to Grandma') SHAME ON YOU. Just kidding. No, I am not. Arggghhhh. Grandma?? Waaaaaah, I must must must sort out my hair.

Lots of people seemed swept away by their worship. I, in my logical way, am not doubting it, but am really keen to get some elaboration on what was going on. There was one spooky-ish moment, as we arrived there. I have never been to the location before so Mr SatNav took us. When he got into his 'you have reached your destination' loop I could see that the front gates, with the big 'IN' sign were locked. Great. So I whizzed up a random road to turn round. To be greeted by a sign with an arrow for the very place we were going. Coincidence...or...?

I can imagine some people that know me will have faintly raised eyebrows and a smirk on their face reading this. We're not very good at religion, and tend to lock it in a cupboard with stuff like piles medication - lots of people have it but surprisingly few feel happy to admit it.

I think the one thing I find hard to grasp with religion is this: I know a lot of people who go to church very regularly, and presumably live their lives that way - so how do such people do such nasty things? I mean really out and out needlessly vicious and spiteful acts...I know we're all human, but these people seem to have gone out of their way to be horrible.

Questioning is good, and hopefully I will start to gain some insights.

The girls had a good dance, and then played in the creche part, and then stuffed themselves with biscuits and doughnuts. Now, church with doughnuts - why didn't someone think of that before??!!!

Naughty Baby Barbie

Baby Barbie played up a lot at bedtime tonight.

She insisted on getting into Florence's bed, and then proceded to make a nuisance of herself.

Firstly she would NOT lay down, but insisted on dancing like a lunatic and made Florence sing for her.

She then thought it would be funny to chuck the quilt off Florence.

After this she persuaded Florence to stand up and jump.

When Florence tried to drink her milk Baby Barbie kept sneaking sips.

Baby Barbie then started repeatedly banging her head on the end of the cot, forcing Florence's arm to follow.

Baby Barbie was a right little twat, and I was really glad when she went back over her options and decided she'd sleep in the book box and not in bed.

Night night Baby Barbie.

Dear Mr Microsoft Brain

I have been using this product for some time now and I notice there seem to be a few bugs that aren't ironed out yet:

1. The switch that is meant to turn it off at night-time sometimes seems to get stuck to the 'on' position, thereby causing me to be awake for extended periods.

2. Along with the above problem, the 'sifting-through-worries' application seems to not only get stuck on, but also runs way too fast sometimes. It also seems to categorise things that don't really fall into the 'worry' bracket as worries, thereby making the whole process an almost constant one.

3. I don't think this model was equipped with the correct amount of memory. A vast number of things seem to disappear off the system, only to reappear, which the system then moves into the 'worry' category.

4. The system seems to have a lot of trouble warming up when it is first booted up in the morning. It often seems to have trouble even functioning to make a cup of coffee.

5. The Rumpy-Pumpy program appears to be not functioning whatsoever. It may well have burnt out as it worked exceptionally well a few years ago.

6. Every so often the Logic-Runtime-system seems to malfunction, causing misinterpretation of a variety of everyday occurrances and complete lack of functionality. This sometimes trips the emotion javascript resulting in unpredicable floods of tears or gales of laughter.

Would it be possible to send this model back to you and have it analysed for defects. I would be happy to accept a stand-in model in the meantime. If you don't accommodate my needs, and address my issues seriously I will be forced to take legal action.

If I remember.

What is it with kids and bedtimes?

When they're tiny it's fighting through colic, or days and nights mixed up...and of course the regular round of waking up for night feeds. Babies love sleep, but quite often aren't actually that good at it at night.

Then you move past the newborn phase, some people take the easy-come, easy-go route and don't have any structure to bedtime, some go for the co-sleeping either by design or from being worn down into it and some go for the full-on, by the clock bedtime routine.

Just as you have that sussed, and hopefully sleeping through the night is something fairly regular....along comes TEETHING, WEANING, COLDS ......Yeah!!!! You thought you had a sleep-through baby. WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Soooo....teeth - check, solids - check, colds - check. You know what to do with all of them, within reason. Clever Mummy, you're a real pro.

Muahahahahahaaaaaa says the sleep fairy. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Baby wants to give up one nap, and discovers the joys of overtiredness. and playing. and climbing. and m-a-n-i-p-u-l-t-i-o-n. Deliberate, carefully-planned manipulation.

You overcome that one. Along comes 'dreaming' and 'Mummy-can-you-say-separation-anxiety'. Oh, and more climbing. And the manipulation skills are growing.

Just as nights slowly start to become a time when expecting more than 3 hours sleep on the trot isn't something too unrealistic, the bedtime routine grooooooooows.

Playing and delaying. One and the same. One loo visit turns into 4. Cuddles and kisses turn into a cycle of 'cuggle'...'now tiss'...'cuggle'. Brushing teeth starts as cajolment to do it, and then moves into begging to stop. Every toy in the house, bedding, clothing, food, drink and sponges to wash faces with explode in every room, vitally important and when removed cause screams of dismay.

And you know, I am convinced, we'll get past this only to move into 'pleeeease get out of bed now'.

Blackbird murder suspect in custody

This morning a cat was apprehended at the scene of the violent murder of a blackbird. Detectives attending the scene were reported as saying they 'rarely encounter scenes of such gratuitous and uncontrolled violence'.

The suspect was found at the scene, crouching on a sofa, looking at the victim. Police said he was the prime suspect for the case, being found at the scene and having several feathers around his mouth and on his fur. The feathers have been sent off for forensic analysis to confirm they are from the victim. When arrested the cat leapt playfully at police officers' legs and attempted to bite one officer on the foot.

When interviewed the cat was reported to have offered no explanations for his presence at the scene, and merely rolled onto his side, flicking his tail. The cat, whose identity has not been revealed, but is believed to be one Harry THE CAT, refused to respond to any questioning and also did not indicate whether he wanted legal representation. At one point the cat did mew repeatedly, and refused to stop until he was given biscuits.

The interview was suspended after the cat curled up in a corner and went to sleep.

Detectives are confident that DNA evidence will firmly link the cat to the crime, and are conducting house-to-house enquiries looking for witnesses.

Homework

so no blog. BAAAAAAAAH.

Normal service will be resumed shortly - don't go away!