Monday, 8 September 2008


Today was Alice's first day back at pre-school after the summer break. As our childminder has swanned off to New york for a week (something wrong here, we haven't made it to New york yet!) I was the one doing 'first day back'. Now this is even bigger than it seems. I took it into my head 2 days ago that it was finally bye-bye dummies for Alice.

Good grief, some people are thinking - isn't Alice 3 1/2?. Yeah, she is. But something fabulous has happened in the last year or so. I have broken free from other-mummy-induced guilt. Am I the only one that succumbed to this? It started for us from the get-go with Alice. I had pre eclampsia and whilst my body coped remarkably well with galloping blood pressure, kidneys having a protein-fest and not even recognising the epigastric danger sign I was meant to call an ambulance for, Alice came out a scrawny 4lb 11oz at 38 weeks. Obviously she was a little dot. And she fed like one. Always. No sooner did I get together with other IVF new mummies than we were onto ounce-age, and nap-age, and WEIGHT GAIN. I felt such a failure, I clearly couldn't stuff more milk down her throat, and short of strapping flesh-coloured bean bags to her for clinic visits, her weight was her weight - 5% centile, all the way. I am sure this was complicated by unacknowledged and undiagnosed post-natal depression, but seeds are sown.

I then dug even deeper into this, and it reached climatic proportions with Florence. Florence could not move herself to a sitting position until she was 13 months old. Florence didn't crawl until she was 13 months old. She didn't pull up, she didn't bum-shuffle. She did nothing except sit flat on her bottom once you'd put her there. The Health Visitor confirmed my worries and referred her on for investigations into developmental delay. For anyone who knows the UK health system, referral is serious business because it's serious money. The day I found out I went online, floods of tears to talk and find support from online friends. One of whom I spoke to was very sympathetic. And then promptly sent me a video of her child (younger than Florence) toddling along and tryng to climb the stairs. I am sure those of you who have had those bizarre conversations with people who know you're struggling to conceive, but expect you to turn cartwheels with their 'I only have to look at him' pregnancies will empathise with how this felt.

A door closed in me that day. I vowed to judge my kids absolutely in their own right, to never compare and to never feel pressured into doing something just because other people think you should.

So, Saturday night, after 5000 delaying tactics, of which 'another dummy' featured high on the running order, I just quietly said 'we're giving the dummies to the dummy fairies now, Alice'. And took them. A few tears, promises of her very own make-up and off to sleep. We've had a few little wobblers (openly from her, mentally from me) but tonight the only mention of them was to 'take Florence's dummies away' (oh, feel the sisterly love).

This morning Alice was as good as gold, getting herself dressed, uncomplaining, undemanding and I took my eye off the ball. I forgot my own science rules. I ignored the silence.

I went into my bedroom to collect something and Alice is sat on the floor holding the Sudocrem tub. I quietly took it off her and happened to glance down to THICKLY COATED SUDOCREM LEGS. And carpet. And dress.

It came off her legs very easily, and luckily mostly off her dress. And off to school we went. Alice sporting her new lipstick, and very soft legs.

Does anyone know how to get it out of a carpet.


Ronda's Rants said...

Yeah...cut it out! Sorry...I don't know it greasy...I think you are supposed to put talc powder and it will absorb the oil and you can vacuum it up. Maybe. I would try a small area and see if that works!
Thanks for your support today...I really appreciate it...

Just Me. said...

Hmmm....I have no idea, really.

Hope you work it out.


KeepinUnity said...

when i first saw the sudocrem tub i thought.....bunny knows the power of the sudocrem spots treatment a litlle devil lol,i have no idea how u will get it out?xoxlet me know if u find any solutionx

theclam said...

*snigger* man alive you truly have your work cut out for you don't you hon? But I'm sure that you love each and every minute of it :)

No clue on how to get the cream out the carpet... time for new carpets perhaps?

Dee.. said...

Hey! It's greasy, just like the sunscreen on my body the past week. Try pouring loads of powder over it and let it absorb the greasy. Thereafter, vacuum or dust it off. Thereafter, you can try soaping it maybe.

The Stanford Family said...

Yep, they are all different and its very hard to take things away that a younger sibling gets. But ya know I'm to the point whatever works!